October is the beginning of “spooky season,” which so happens to be my least favorite time of the year. I’m always scared out of my mind at the next creepy thing that will pop out at me giving me the title “scaredy cat”. When did being scared of spooky things make me a chicken? It’s human nature to be scared of creepy things running after you. Everyone knows about the fight or flight instinct. Personally, I’m a fight person, and if you talk to me for ten seconds you will figure that out very quickly. Anytime I’m scared my first reaction is a right hook to whatever is at my shoulder level. Haunted houses are a risk because the $35 entry fee could turn into a $1,000 civil lawsuit of assault, because I punched an employee on accident when they scared me.  

Movies are a whole other topic. Many people think that a scary movie would be such a cute date idea. The girl gets scared and clings to her guy for protection. Not for me though. If something is scary, I don’t want anyone touching me because you might just be a monster. The horrors Halloween brings don’t stop at a haunted house and scary movies; its even being invited into our own homes. 

Everyone is obsessed with binging the next Netflix show while they are glued to their seat. Netflix created a new category for scary movies called Netflix and Chills. It was released on September’s Friday the 13th and will stay there until October 25th. The section is filled with 15 Netflix originals accompanied by original horror movies and even kids’ titles. With all these titles at the tips of our fingers, we control the degree of creepiness of the movie. As I have stated many times, I’m the biggest chicken alive, so I tend to stick with the more lighthearted movies. However, I realize there are some psychopaths who like to be scared out of their minds in their own homes. For crazy people, Netflix and Chills is for you, but if you are like me and all these Halloween activities don’t sound fun in the slightest, I may have an alternative.  

Picture this, it’s October 1st and you’re sitting on the couch eagerly waiting for the commercial break to end so you can start the best movie marathon Disney Channel has to offer: Monstober. For the next thirty days your butt is cemented to the couch cushion. You binge iconic Halloween movies like Hocus Pocus, Halloweentown, Girl vs. Monster, and My Babysitter’s a Vampire with whatever junk food you can get your hands on. As the marathon progresses, the movies only get spookier and the blanket inches farther up your face to cover your eyes. For the next month, your feet don’t dangle from the bed in fear of a monster grabbing them, and you don’t dare leave your head exposed at night.  

This was my ten-year-old dream, and maybe it still is my dream. All season long my friends will try to drag me to haunted houses, horror movies, and anything else made to scare you.  If you’re that friend, Halloween kind of sucks, but I propose a revolution. Halloween does not have to be super scary. We should band together and watch Monstober, while carving cute designs in our pumpkins. Let’s roast pumpkin seeds and drink pumpkin spice lattes peacefully.  Instead of gory costumes, let’s be cute bumble bees or puppies with no shame. It’s time we wave our chicken flag high and say “no thank you” to scary, money sucking activities. 

Yes, I sound like whatever you would call the Grinch of Halloween, but one can’t deny the tempting smell of a Starbucks pumpkin spiced latte or the adorable pictures that follow a group costume. If you’re the friend that drags your chicken to anything haunted (*cough* Rhyan Connolly), maybe try watching at least one day of Disney Channel original Halloween movies or baking one pumpkin loaf. You may like it a little more than losing sleep over a creepy doll movie.